One more month!

Well, just about one more month until our baby is born!   I am not sure it has hit me quite yet... I don't think it will until I am actually admitted to the hospital.  The baby seems to be doing great.  He kicks A LOT, usually when I'm sitting in class or laying down to go to sleep.  I can't believe that I am over eight months pregnant.  I used to think about what it would be like to be this pregnant and I always thought I would be massively huge, but I honestly don't feel that different.  Although, I have been super uncomfortable this last month, so that is different I guess.  His little feet (or knees, or butt) are jammed up into my ribs and I am sore all the time!  I have to go to the bathroom every half hour, which is difficult with two hour classes all day.  I can't walk up a staircase without gasping for breath, I can barely tie my shoes without sitting down first, and I finally have that weird pregnant walk where I waddle around because my hips and back hurt so bad.  I'm not sure if I am getting that swollen fat look yet... I hope so, because then I can blame my fat face on being pregnant and it actually might go away in a month haha.  It is so strange to think of not being pregnant... it seems like constant discomfort should just be a permanent part of my life now.

The closer the due date gets the more scared I am... scared for the pain (although that is the least of my worries), scared for how I'm going to manage a baby and school, scared to be tired all the time (more than I already am), scared to quit my job and have no income with a new baby, scared to nurse, scared for how I'm going to nurse with classes that are six straight hours for three days a week, scared to leave my baby every day, scared that the baby will be ugly (Ok, I'm half kidding about that one)....  I'm just terrified for everything and it is only a month away.  Maybe he could wait another nine months until I feel more prepared?
I've never been more afraid... but I've never been more excited either.  I can't wait to hear that little cry and hold him and look at him for the first time.  A month is way too short but it also feels like forever until I get to see my baby!

(Just a side note... he is currently the size of a large cantaloupe according to my iPod app.)